Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Goodbye John/Hello Noah, Hip Robins on the Way, and Other Brief Musings

Here, in no particular order, are a few things that have come to my attention recently.

1. Name that baby correctly. For 14 consecutive years, Jacob was the most popular name picked for baby boys. Noah is now at the top of the list. Next is Liam. I don't know anybody named Noah or Liam but I may someday. Those two are followed by Jacob, Mason and William. At least they haven't killed Bill yet, but he's sinking quickly. You'll never guess what the most popular name for baby girls is. Sophia. Followed by Emma, Olivia, Isabella and Ava. Those sounds like old ladies' names, probably because they make me think of movie stars from the 1940's. 

The Social Security Admin. also ranked the names that are the fastest-rising in popularity. No way you can guess these. Boys: Jayceon. Girls: Daleyza. I'll never know anyone with those names. Seems as though the media creates the trend: reality shows, talent shows, dj's, rappers and other celebrities. 

So, to all you Joe's, John's and Jim's out there, face it. Your day has come and gone.

2. Missouri: On the Move
The Show-Me's in Jeff City have once again gained the national spotlight. First, we aren't going to allow the Tesla to be sold here. Reason: No dealers. It's wrong, they say. "When you buy a car, it must be from a dealer. We've always done it this way." A key proponent of this backward-thinking legislation is State Senator Mike Kehoe, who was once a car dealer. But Tesla is taking it to court. Knowing how Missouri works, the judge will probably be a Ford dealer.

Second Missouri Move: We may rank low in education and health care, but we rank way up there when it comes to early departures. Missouri is third in the nation in executions. Only Texas (of course) and Florida killed more killers. Assuming they were all guilty. But the state is on a hot streak: May will be the 8th consecutive month we've slipped the needles in and opened the valves. It's a humane form of death, if you can possibly put those two thoughts together.

3. That Lady and the Beer Guys
A former executive at Anheuser-Busch has taken on "the boys." She claims she was a victim of sexual discrimination.
Maybe she was. I don't really know. Could be. All I know is she made $320,000 a year. That's $6,000 a week. In 2004 she made $1,500,000. She alleges in her law suit that, because she is a woman, she missed out on over nine million dollars of income. Like I say, maybe she did. The beer game is pretty much a guys' game. But isn't that what they said about the car business until GM changed the game?

Here's what I know for sure. If someone wants to give me $6,000 a week, they can dress me in a pinafore or miniskirt, call me any kind of name they want, refer to me in meetings as "the old fart," and even pat me on the butt while I'm making coffee for "the boys," and I'll be happy. No lawyers involved.

4. Swinging Robins "In Vitro"
A robin built her nest on top of one of our deck speakers.
We listen to jazz out there a lot. She seems to dig it. I wonder about her chicks. Will they be cool? Will they dig the bass solos? Will they identify with Bird, aka Charlie Parker? I think they will. I heard mama robin whistling "Round Midnight" yesterday, key of E flat. 

5. My Ties
I have 26 ties. I wear only 3 or 4 of them.
The only time I wear a tie is to a memorial service (3 last month),  a dinner with important people (0 in the past ten years), or opening night on Broadway (once in the past twenty years). So why don't I throw or give away the twenty that collect dust? Because some day I may get that call, something important, and the tie I want will be gone. Better cluttered than sorry.


  1. You forgot another item that Missouri has on the books
    No same-sex marriages

  2. Your meanderings and musings made me laugh. My soon-to-be-born great grandson will be named William and called Liam. My preschool class is filled with girls whose parents named them after their grandmothers or movie stars. My ex worked with Mike. I love Jazz and the blues, Your bird flies the nest and arrives over here every morning touting her horn about 5...or, she's giving lessons to the flock. I too, would be a beach blanket babe if someone paid me 6 grand a month. You however are willing to compromise more principles than I am willing to compromise. :)

  3. Gerry--If you can find someone who's willing to pay you $6,000 a week to pat you on the butt, let me in on it, because they'd probably be willing to pay me the same thing to pat ME on my old, cellulite-covered rump.

    (Missouri--so many reasons to be proud of our state. I hope we're still #1 or close to it when it comes to meth production. We don't want to lose our spot on that list.)

  4. Aren't we also first in puppy mills, along with a governor who corrects us if we cast a wrong vote? We should change our motto to the "Show Me Insanity State."

    As usual, you've hit it all on the head, Gerry! The only difference is I'd settle for $6,000 a month.

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  6. Well done! I enjoyed reading your blog!

  7. Gerry, your mind is so interesting. Names run in cycles. What's out becomes in. What's old becomes new. "Janet" is a simple name, but rarely seen these days. I'm waiting for it to come back in during the next generation. --Janet

  8. Gerry, enjoyed your comments as usual. Having lived in California, New York and South Carolina I really can't knock Missouri. Each of the aforementioned states have plenty of their own problems.

  9. Don't get me started on Missouri politics Gerry. Maybe it's something in the water. All that fertilizer run-off has finally gotten to those who seriously consider invalidating federal gun control regulation. Then again, one very effective and underrated weapon in the arsenal of common sense over hysteria is dry satire, which you do very well. Thanks for the wry smiles! Joe Delmore