Boy, did someone put me on the wrong mailing list. I'm flattered to be included, but I don't come close to qualifying for what they're selling. Here's what I'm talking about - a brochure that arrived in the mail recently from Regent Seven Seas Cruises. Truth be told, I can just about afford One sea, much less Seven. I've received brochures from other cruise lines before, some of them with offerings within reach, but this one showed me that I know less about the world, and about how the well-heeled travel.


Here's a sampling of their "Exotic Hideaways" for 2019. Some of these places are unfamiliar to me. Maybe you've heard of them, maybe you've even been to them. If so, I salute you for your spirit of adventure.

Let's start with their top of the line. It's 19 nights (I guess that rounds out to 20 days) on the Seven Seas Mariner from Bali to Sydney. Highlights are the Timor Sea  (never heard of it), several stops in Australia - Broome, Exmouth, Perth, Penneshaw (aka Kangaroo Island!!). I forgot to mention - it starts in Bali. That's an island in Indonesia. So, figure it out. 19 nights in the Mariner Suite for $35,000. Or, if you're having trouble making ends meet, get the Penthouse suite for $29,000. The Mariner figures to be  roughly $1800 a night. Meals included. And clean sheets. And French wines. Still. $1800 a night is more expensive than most New York hotels (regular rooms with a king bed and 2 sets of towels, anyway).

Not interested in Australia? No problem. Try their Singapore to Bangkok voyage, starting  at $16,000 for 16 nights, and going up to $28,000. By the way, that's for the Mariner Suite, which is 900 square feet. The Regent Suite, should you need more space, is 4500 square feet. That's bigger than my house! I'm sure you could play pickle ball in your room if you get bored. On this cruise, you visit Malaysia, Indonesia, Myanmar, Thailand, and cruise the South China Sea and the Gulf of Thailand.
These sound like locations for a Tom Cruise movie.

I could go on, but you get the idea. I should mention there are several amenities included with these cruises. A sampling: Unlimited shore excursions. Unlimited beverages, including fine wines and booze. In-suite mini-bar, replenished daily. Just in case you're trying to escape your personal problems. Like how to pay for this if the market tanks while you're at sea. And maybe the crowning jewel - unlimited WiFi. So you can stay in your 4000 square foot cabin and watch YouTube all day while the South China Sea glides by outside your window.

I've got to be honest with you. If I had bought a load of Microsoft or Apple 20 years ago, I'd probably be sending in my registration right now. Doesn't matter which cruise. They all look appealing. In fact, I'd probably book two or three cruises for 2019. Only problem would be what to do with my dog. I couldn't leave her for that long. But maybe...maybe...a cabin for two? Unlimited Milk Bones? A frisbee to play with in my very large cabin? That might just work.